Like most of us, at this time of Janus, I try to stumble upon what would serve me best in the upcoming year, what is attainable, what is it that inspires me, and where do I want to be with Janus a year from now. Perhaps for you everything is just right, not too hot and not too cold, and nothing needs to happen, shift or grow right now. This however, is highly unlikely for me as I seem to be a ball of often inquiry, a change seeker, always questioning.
So here we are, January 7th, a full week into the new of 2016, and my evolution resolution has arrived. In my process of weeding out what I want to achieve, sorting through what sets me up for success, filtering out the distractions, and narrowing it down to the heart of the matter, I begin with just one word. A word that sums "it" up for me, the word that is my "trigger", my reminder, my mini-mantra for those deep in the shit times I can't remember more than just one word. The word that has arrived to me as we're moving into 2016 is FREEDOM.
It's a heavy word, loaded actually. You may think of releasing from chains, or independence. For me however, the freedom I'm desiring is freedom of my mind, the egocentric computer that runs the whole show, the place where I can easily be lost for days in swirling cyclical thought. I am slowly beginning to realize that freedom really is the innate nature of the mind, it wants to be free, to be open, wide, and wild. I am learning that all the years I've tried to control my mind haven't worked, all my desire for discipline has left me feeling failed. Dedication, persaverance, commitment, un-relentlessness, all decent attributes where appropriate but when applied to my mind, well it would just rebel. When you allow the mind to wander, to roam, yes initially you can see the zillions of thoughts and distractions wanting to be controlled, but if you stick with it and truly allow the mind to be free to do whatever it wants, you will eventually find it settles into a beautiful place of space, open sky, running free.
So, how will I attain any sort of direction to this word, to this freedom of mind, here is my action plan:
- nightly fill one page (maybe more if moved to) before sleep
- meditate 10 minutes (maybe more if moved to) before starting my day
- learn/practice tele skiing
Seeing through Janus' eyes facing forward I want to be someone with a mind that is free, that is not held in or limited, to feel the lift of the heel, the slight un-groundedness, the effort of the incline, the earning of the turning, the freedom of the flight.
Free your heel, free you mind, because to me that is true freedom.
I'm off to earn my turns!